Innovation or Two Left Feet: Part 10 of The Drummer's Almanac

Let the onslaught begin!!!

I finally added a double-kick pedal to my kit. It was something I was reluctant to buy at first because I wanted to make sure I didn't get too big for my britches.

To master single-kick is something to accomplish all on it's own, but I feel that I have a full toolbox with one foot beating. I can double stroke with ease and I was getting myslef into a rut. So, what do you do when you get into a rut, you innovate.

To do this I needed to expand and push myself. To go back to my glory days as a metal head when I owned two bass drums and had a helmet/mullet hairstyle. When the double bass phenomenon was being pushed by the likes of Metallica on "One" and Slayer on everything they did.

Later, my style changed from metal to jazz and then to worship music. I started getting inspired by the likes of Earthsuit and Neil Peart's fresh take on the use of a double kick pedal. They used the double bass as a compliment to the song, not just to see how fast they could play or to just thrash out because it sounded cool. It was a tool to implement when the song facilitated the room for it.

I added my new pedal to my kit on Christmas Day. It was so gratifying and empowering to have such an arsenal at my feet. I kicked out Rush's "One Little Victory" with moderate trouble, but overcame the timing concerns and smoothed it out.

The only concern with the addition is that it pushes my Hi-hat pedal to the left and I now have to switch between the hi-hat and the kick pedal with my weakest foot. I actually have two left feet placements on my kit and it will take a while to get comfortable.

I can't wait to incorporate a twist of metal and jazz into some worship music.

Everything You Desire

I know it seemed like I hate Atheists in my last rant, but really that is just not the truth.

I feel the need to say that I just don't agree with their beliefs. I don't agree that life is over when we die. I don't agree that life is an accident.

This doesn't mean that I'm intolerant or that I'm insensitive because I'm not open minded enough to accept their beliefs. It just means that I don't agree.

I want them to see that there is hope and that life extends beyond their physical viewpoint of existence. I want them to know that God's love is greater than anything they have known or will ever know in this life. I want them to know that they don't have to throw away God because someone forced them to be religious or didn't live up to the standards they set.

I also don't want to force this view on them. Like God, I want them to experience the true God. The God of grace and love. He is too big to just look at on paper or hear about. You must experience His touch to know that He is everything you desire.

Atheist Christmas Music

Whut!?! Shut yo mouph foo !!! Gooolaay!

Our friend Christy came over to our house to show off her new engagement ring. She started talking about how Christmas at the daycare was being portrayed to the kids and that only one parent objected to the story of the candy cane being handed out to the kids.

One of her co-workers at the day care is an atheist. This is only an issue because this woman is very adamant about her faith or lack there of. The daycare was listening to traditional Christmas music when this woman told our friend Christy that she wanted to listen to her Atheist Christmas Music.

Whut!?!

That so sounds like an SNL skit if I ever heard one. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time.

I just have to ask what the holiday is about if not about any Gods. Kwanza, Channukah, and Christmas all involve a God.

What are her holidays about?

I was watching a show with Bawbwa Waltews called "Is there A Heaven?" She went all over the world getting interviews with the likes of the Dali Lama and other religious leaders. All of them told her she was not living the right lifestyle and she was going to hell because she didn't believe what they believed. Kind of funny.

She spoke to the leader of the Atheists about life after death. The woman was condemming anything to do with the subject. Barbera asked her how she feels about it all ending after life is over. The woman said, "I'm not happy about it, but I accept that life is over when we die." It was sad! She also said she had to make her life as great as it could be while she was here.

I ask, Why???!!!??? If it doesn't matter in the end, why try? Nobody will measure it in the end. You will be forgotten among men.

She then said, "If you say there is a Heaven, then you must prove it.

Faith was not an option.

Faith was left up to scientific fact that some people are prone to being more faithful than others because of their genetic structure.

So much for mustard seed faith.

I guess I might as well give up growing my faith because my genes can only handle so much. God must only be close to those who have bigger faith genes than others. This explains why I don't feel close to God sometimes.

Well, I guess I'll just put in my Atheist Christmas Music and drive on down the road to the end of my life with no hope and nothing to gain, but death.

Merry Chri..........

Happy Holidays!!!!!!!!! Hope your life sucks too!

We're A Family Now!

My wife and I trekked out into the abyss of Christmas shopping this weekend. We were trying to finish up the few people left on our list and my oldest son fell asleep. So, we got some Wendy's and ate lunch.

Then, we drove around so he would get to sleep for a while as we had more shopping to do. As we drove, we came to some car dealerships and we decided to just window shop.

Yeah, right!!!!

So we bought a van!!!! we had the salesman run some numbers and Casey said she heard God say it was alright to buy it and we did. They knocked off a couple thousand dollars and gave us a good deal.

We've been looking because my wife babysits a girl and we need the carseat space. We made the decision to go with a van and it hurt at first, but it feels good, now. There was a couple who were buying a SUV and they talked with us about buying a van. They said they haven't been able to make the jump to a van because it wasn't hip for them. We laughed because everything is about function for us right now.

We finally have our very own family truckster. "We're a family, now!!!", as Kelly said.

Take Me For Longing

"Take me for longing or leave me behind" is the lyric of an Alison Krauss & Union Station song from the song by the same name.

It is truly how I felt yesterday upon hearing the news that I was not selected for a training opportunity to become a Global Career Counselor. The facilitators requested a resume and a letter of intent to be selected.

"Don't choose me because I am faithful, don't choose me because I am kind."

I received a letter in my mailbox that said I was not selected due to the number of applicants and my lack of eduation. This doesn't make much sense to me because if I had the education I wouldn't need the training, but what do I know?!?

"If your heart settles on me, I'm for the takin"

I would have loved to get this opportunity because it would have solidified my position at West Central. I am looking to be promoted in a couple of years to a coordinator position and because I lack education, his would have beefed up the ole resume.

I want to say they missed a great opportunity to have me. I also want to say they can have their stupid training, but I really wanted it.

I am longing and upset, but, unfortunately, they are not.

They left me behind.

Dashboard Confessional

A car was coming over the hill as I pulled out and tried to get to speed limit before they got too close. I was too slow because he started riding my bumper and I couldn't see his headlights. This infuriated me and I tappped the brakes. He backed off for a moment and then sped up on my bumper again as he passed me. He then just passed me and went on his way.

As he passed me, I gestured, "bring it on", like some stupid oaf that don't know any better.

After he gets about a quarter mile down the road, conviction set in and I found myself thanking him. The guy just passed me. He didn't really do anything, but make me nervous when he got too close.

I thanked him for not responding to me, which let me know how ridiculous I was being. I also prayed that the Lord would bless him. I don't like to hate on people, but I find myself getting frustrated in the car a lot!

Lord, help me to extend grace to others as I wish they would extend to me. Thank You for giving me awareness of this problem and showing me Your grace.

Identity In Christ

I saw one of my friends walking out of Krogers, so I said hello. He said he had been thinking of me and was going to call me to give drum lessons to his daughter. I had to explain that I'm not able to do that right now, but maybe sometime later. His daughter walked away and we talked about how he was doing. Awesome, by the way! He is going to a Vineyard in Columbus and is growing tremendously.

He then said, I haven't forgot what you said when we ate at Arby's that day." I told him I forgot, so he needs to remind me. He then said, "My identity is in Christ and not anyone else. I am an overcomer! Not a victim!"

At first, I thought, "Wow, that came from me?!?" Then I realized God was telling me that I will never know when he is using me to witness. I had only lived through that experience and shared it with my friend. The glory goes to Him and he has not forgot me. I had no idea that would affect my friend, but it did. Praise God!

Just when I thought I was not being very effective, I hear something that makes me get on my knees. It also reminded me that I am an overcomer, also. I am not condemned even though I sometimes feel like it. I am not useless, even though I sometimes think I am. I am not what I always think I am. A weird concept, but true. I am who God thinks I am.

Aaron, this is also a shout out to you. You told it to me first and I am continually living it out. Praise the Lord!!!!!!!

Leaning Into FUN!

My department was invited to an open house of a hangar at the City of Delaware on Thursday. It was built by an employer with whom we have a relationship. This employer hired some of our residents to help build the hangar. It's quite big and houses about seven small planes and one helicopter. The investors in the project are wealthy and happened to have three Segways parked between two planes. The Segways were being taken for a spin and one even had a golf bag attached to it. I had the opportunity to ride one.

My director also took a ride. Or a stroll. Which ever is most appropriate. It was amazing. I, of course want one, but I know the cost too much.

It was very sensitive to my balance and would move according to which way I was leaning. If you were to step off of the platform, it would roll about ten feet and fall over. The platform is balanced by some type of countering mechanism which allows it to stay upright on only two wheels. It was fast and more personal than a bicycle because it moved to your body motion. It also had a handle on the left that you rotate according to which direction you want to turn which gives you great control.

Although, I couldn't justify buying one, I do understand why those guys have these toys.

They are FUN. I can see why they are the rage in Japan.

The Family Truckster

On Saturday six Ohioans and one Michigani went up to Detroit in the Snook Family Truckster. We gluttoned ourselves on Bob Evans and Bennigans(great meatloaf) and had an awesome time. We even walked out of a movie that was nothing short of filth.(Ice Harvest - Don't see it!!!)

Also, We went to the mall at Royal Oaks and looked at things far too expensive, and gave each other massages at Brookstone. My wife and I also just had a great time going out as ourselves.

We had a good long talk on the way home after dropping our native off in his homeland about our experiences in our church. Most of us go to the same church, yet our experiences were very different. My wife and I got to see a different perspective and also understand how some things worked.

This was also good because it confirmed that we need to press on and keep learning how to work with the people we go to church, because that is what makes relationship. I also looked at how I don't find it easy to work out my issues with people. Instead of coming to them in truth and love, my wife and I usually "duck and run" from the problem. This has alienated us from being a core family in the church.

I went up front for Ministry on Sunday to receive prayer for this issue.

I replaced Dave as the driver on the way home because he was getting tired. He drove us around all day long and was feeling the pain of trying to stay alert. Later, he woke up with a gasp, thinking he was still driving. His chest was pounding and he was breathing heavy. We all felt so bad for him because we know how it feels. Thank You, God, everything was OK.

Thank You also for getting to talk with our friends. It's been a while since we had a good(God) talk. Thank You for Kelly, who is always understanding and willing to help. Thank You for everyone that went to Detroit with us. I commented to my wife how everybody was a part of things and everybody had a good time. It was very much needed for us. We need to feel like we belong.

I really missed going on trips in the Family Truckster.

A Stirring Romance

Today I have had revelation!

It's nothing shocking or new. It just makes sense.

Right now!

It's a little hard to explain, but I have been striving for things and trying to fill the void in my heart with things that are fleeting. This is why I am never satisfied.

"Everything is vanity!"

How true! I have an amazing life right now that is not being appreciated because I don't think it's quite where I want it. I'm not this....... or I haven't done that....... or God hasn't called me to this....... Who cares!!!! God doesn't want any of that bull for me. My revelation was this...

God wants me to follow Him. Pursue Him. Strive for Him. Be more like Him.

Why is this a revelation? Because I can now lay down those things that I have been wasting time on and spend more time on Him. What if I pray instead of trying to draw? What if I read the Bible instead of trying to write lyrics? What if my family actually sat down and read the Bible together?

My wife and I were talking last night about doing Advent this year. It will be the first time we attempted this, so I'm excited. We are also having worship at our house this weekend. It's time for me to take spiritual leadership of my family and make the time for us to learn and grow in Him.

The Lord is wooing my heart!

I'm in pursuit!!!

Weekend Fun

Saturday, we got together with our home group to watch the Ohio State vs. Michigan game. We ate a Thanksgiving dinner and it was great! The kids made cookies and the parents ate a lot.

Later, we went to the Columbus Zoo. They were open late for their Christmas lights. Caden loved the lights so much he didn't want to leave. He was walking up to every display and trying to take the lights apart. We joked about Caden pulling out a bulb and making the whole place shut down. How funny would that be? Any, we had a great time. We drank hot chocolate and strolled through the zoo. It was peaceful and relaxing. And it was free!!!

Sunday was awesome. The worship set was strong and refreshing. The message was just what I needed to hear. It was about disagreements and letting grumblings or murmurs take hold of you to the point that you lose joy. If you read my blog two entries ago, I was saying I needed help with losing my joy. In short, the service was a blessing.

I received a lot of compliments for singing "Holy Heart" by Charlie Hall, which made me feel weird. I didn't know what to say to some people because I don't think it was me. I give the Lord all credit. He touched the congregation with that song. I was wanting to throw up my hands and deflect the compliments because it seemed out of place to me. I praise God that He reached them through the song. It made me tremble as I sang it. I put my arm up in praise to Him and my hand started shaking uncontrollably and I almost felt like I was going to pass out. The service was draining, but peacefully satisfying and I give Him all the glory!

Superman Vs. Spider-Man

I am a Superman fan!!! I love everything.... er well....not everything, but I do love most things about his mythos. I am very excited about the new movie coming out and the official trailer is now up for our viewing pleasure. Click here to see it!

I had an interesting argument with a friend about how Superman is not realistic and does not relate to humanity because he can't be beaten and is too powerful. He argued that Spider-Man was his favorite because he is the everyman superhero.

I argued, because it's fun, that although Spider-Man is the average guy getting superpowers and down on his luck, Superman is who every superhero is measured. He is the be-all, end-all in the comic world!

This is not to say he doesn't have weakness. He is the weakest when it comes to matters of the heart and this is his connection to humanity. He loves deeply and fights to save a world that desperately needs love. He has integrity and is not deterred by political agenda nor does he obscure the lines of justice. He is moved by humanity and connects to them with love and faithfulness. He is always there when you need him.

I could also go into how he parallels Jesus, but that would take too long. I just love how you can take the most powerful character and make him vulnerable by having him love and receive love.
We have become so used to our heroes being vulnerable and giving in to their weakness, that when we see someone with integrity, we don't think they are realistic. It's refreshing to watch the first two Superman movies just to see how pure Clark Kent is and how Superman is immovable in his spirit.
I still love spider-Man, don't get me wrong.

I just wanna see more Superman!!!!

Reclaiming My Joy

Today, I pray for joy!

Joy for you, joy for me!

Today we take back stolen ground!

This is a call out to all my friends to pray for me. I have been letting my everyday joy get stolen away and I have been allowing frustration and dissatisfaction to rule my life. They have become part of my language to the point that I don't realize I have unleashed them on my friends.

I felt this when I was talking with Swanger at Famous Dave's. We were talking about our churches and how it's been hard to make relationships and nothing has been easy. He said, "It sounds like I'm not satisfied." I think I have been. I have been pushing myself to rotate my perspective. Now I look at things a little differently. I love my church. I just need to keep building relationships.

One thing I've learned recently is that you have to maintain relationships. You can't expect them to stay strong when they lie stagnant. Mike Bickle says, "You must take new ground or you will lose the ground you already have taken." This is becoming more true the more I chew on it. I know that I need to contribute and not withdraw from everything that makes me unhappy. I need to engage and work on loving and being loved. We have to keep pushing forward if we ever want to increasingly become like Jesus. It is so easy to throw in the chips and walk away. I've done this many times.

Pray that my joy will increase. Pray that I will catch myself when I give power to negativity. Call me out when you hear me spewing venom my mouth.

I apologize for that.

Brought To You By the Letter "D" (Detroit, Donatos, Donnelly, Dave's, Dog, Donovan, Djembe, Discs, Dill

I have to start off by saying I had a great weekend! A@ron, Scott, Kelly, Dave, Shawna, Donovan, and Ruchita came to our house for some worship, fun, food, and laughs. Aaron led us on guitar, Donovan on bass, and I played my djembe. Kelly, Shawna, Ruchita, and Casey played various percussion and we were off to harp and bowl land.

We played some traditional modern worship and then moved into the Misty Edwards song, "Worthy Is The Lamb". This song was deep and moving. Everyone closed their eyes and we just started singing whatever was on our hearts. Scott even jumped in and sang even though he didn't know us very well. Awesome!

After a couple of hours, Aaron broke a string on his guitar. So, we ordered Donatos and watched Courage the Insult Comedy Dog. If you haven't seen the Star Wars sketch, you have missed out.

Finally everyone was tired and started falling asleep. The party was over at my house. Upon saying goodbye to everyone, Aaron said he wanted to stay longer. I offered to take him home on Saturday evening. Scott was overjoyed and left for Detroit around 10am without much sleep.

We left around 6:30pm on Saturday, after watching Alien with Kelly's son Eric(first timer). We made it Scott's house around 9:30PM and talked with him. He gave me Mike Bickle's series on getting to know the Holy Spirit (6 CDs) and a case to go with them. Thank You Scott. This is going to be a new study for my wife and I on Monday nights. Scott and Aaron introduced me to a guy named Todd Bentley who made some CDs of his teachings. His message was good, but I couldn't get over phrases like: "Marinate me"; "Pickle me"; "I want to go in a cucumber and come out a dill". We enjoyed a good laugh.

After a nice visit with Scott, his wife, and his dog Bailey, Aaron and I went to His parents' house. We stayed up and talked about music with his dad, Neil. I love Aaron's parents. They make their home yours and they are always interested in talking with you. It's very comforting.

The next morning we got up and went to Aaron's church and listened to the Worship Team practice for the service. We prayed with a few people for the service and talked with some of Aaron's friends. The service was good. The worship was strong. I liked it a lot and praised God. I also was able to talk with Rich who plays drums on the team. He is a good drummer and is going through some of the frustration I've had to go through playing electronic drums. He also told me about his family and his wife's devotion to her Jewish culture. I think it's the most we have talked and I loved it. Rich is a very cool guy.

Aaron and I then went to his Worship Team's long practice and ate pizza. So the morning was filled with praise and worship. It was a good time.

Aaron wanted to take me to his favorite Thai restaurant, but it was closed until 4pm. So walked around downtown Plymouth. If you can imagine the town in "Back To The Future", you have just seen Plymouth. It is kind of artsy and cultural. We then walked back to the car and left. The real eating began when we got to Famous Dave's. It's the best Barbeque ever. I brought some wings back for Casey.

I departed for Ohio after a hearty meal and made it home by 6:45pm. I had some great new CDs to listen to. I really enjoyed just having good conversation with a dear friend and meeting new people. Thanks Aaron for making me feel at home and comfortable. I will be back. Love ya bro.

Sharing The Love

I feel I need to share this. You know?
The first Sunday morning worship service was very strong. Our Pastor talked about profit and loss in the spiritual realm. Paul talks about it in Phillipians 3. Everything is a loss when compared to Jesus. Jesus is our gain and our righteousness is measured by Him.

I want to preface this by saying I am still trying to get a grip on this because I am trying not to be religious myself. I sometimes find myself putting on a gameface, but not being into the game. I want and need more intimacy with Jesus. This is why I am sharing.

Our Pastor talked about how some believe being a good person is enough. Enough to get them to heaven, enough to save them. No other committment or action has to be taken. They might say the occasional prayer when they want something or when things get bad enough.

Jesus calls us to more. He wants us to believe in Him, trust in Him, love Him, praise Him, worship Him, talk to Him, cry to Him, hide in Him, etc... There's a sermon in each of those, but the point is, He wants more from us than selfishness and small faith.

He wants us to share Him.

During ministry time our Pastor said he felt a nudge from the Lord, telling him that He wants His church to be more bold. To step out in boldness and proclaim Jesus with others. There are people in our lives who, not by accident, we are making relationships. They need to hear the truth.

The truth is this: We can't do this thing called "life" on our own. Jesus wants to be our partner in the journey. He wants to build us a house in Heaven. He wants us to know His love for us and to share it with others. Not to recruit or assimilate you. It's just that when you get good love you want people you love to get it too.

Come get some!!!!!!!

Falling Forward

Instead of falling back, I have been falling forward. Not the way to stay on top of things, but every since we changed the clocks, things are very slow and different.

The days seem longer even though the sunlight is shorter and my body has been hit hard. I would wake up around 6:30am and be ready for bed by 9:00pm. I actually fell asleep in my sons room whle putting him to bed two days in a row. I put him to bed at 9:30pm and woke up on the floor at 3:00am.

I was off from work three days due to some kind of cold. Which I am slowly (and surely)getting over. This was a good thing because I had the chance to spend some time with my family. They were happy I was home and we had fun.

We even had the chance to shop for Christmas. This was a great feeling because we haven't had the money to spend on Christmas the last couple of years. I found some cool shades that I had to admit looked really good on me. They were 24 dollars so I couldn't justify the purchase.

I wanted to buy some stogies to have when A@ron and Scott show up next week. It would be a cool send off for their trip back home. So I hope to have them ready by that time. My heart and prayers are with them as they make their way back across the U.S.

I have to get those sunglasses!!!!!

Anyway, things are slowly getting back to normal as my body adjusts to the time change. The cool thing is, I only had to work 2 days this week. Now it's Friday and the weekend is here again. Hooray for sick days.

Resonate

I could feel the Lord resonate in some of the conversations I had this weekend. It was a dark, disappointing, socially driven, and exhausting weekend. Everything I was looking forward to was not what I anticipated. I usually enjoy Halloween weekend because of the wiener roasts and bon fires, but this weekend was different.

I made connections where I didn't think I would, which was a good thing because God met me there and empowered me.

On the other hand there were times when I felt like I didn't belong and I needed to take myself out of the situation. I also felt as though I was being shut out. Not a good feeling, but I can move on and continue to pray.

All I can say is, I'm glad this weekend is over.

Trick or treat is tonight. We are taking my oldest son, who is dressing as Elmo, out to get treats. It will be fun to see all of the kids dressed up. This year won't be as cold as usual and my wife isn't pregnant.

Engage

My boss and I had the opportunity to tour and present the employment aspect of rehabilitation at the Mohican Juvenile Correctional Facility, yesterday. It was amazing. I have been to other correctional facilities and this was not much different. Imagine teenage boys in standard blues and walking in single file lines to their next class, or meals.

What was different was that they are a Therapeutic Community(T.C. for short), which is the environment I work in. It was difficult to see T.C. at work, though. The kids were not paying attention because their is no positive peer pressure. The staff were complaining that they don't get compliance due to this important piece of the structure missing.

In most T.C.'s the structure and language is similar. But, because these were kids, the structure had to be different due to The Ohio Department of Rehabilitation and Corrections making different rules for them.

In my environment, our men can be placed in a hierarchy position or supervisory position over other men. This helps with getting tasks completed like cleaning the facility. The juveniles have to be supervised by staff only.

As we presented to the kids we knew we had to get them to interact with us or we would lose them. They are preached to everyday about how immature they are, how they need to be quiet, or don't do this, don't do that, which just makes them tune it out. Once we engaged them, they were receptive. One boy came up to s and said he learned more in that hour than he has learned in several months at the facility. This is not to cut on the facility. We were there to show the kids how to make their experience more positive and how they can get a job and keep a job when they are released. Our plan worked and staff want us back to have a workshop or employment day with the kids.

What is all of this about?

The hope that has been lost on these kids really made me want to connect to them. It made me sad to see so many kids putting faith into the street. It also made me appreciate my job and where I work. It made me want to engage.

Dedication

We dedicated my son Ethan on Sunday. It was very emotional as we pronounced our committment to raising him up with God's lead. Several friends and family gathered around us. It really let us know they support us. I was happy to see my family at church. It was something I've wanted for a long time and it finally happened. God is faithful!

Promised Land

Home group was interesting last night. We have been trying to make home group a priority every week and so far has worked out nicely.

We read the end of Exodus where Moses is approving the Ephod and the contents of the Tent of Meeting. The detail they crafted into each piece is amazing and a symbol of their devotion to God and His craftsmanship in creating us. It also symbolized how His folowers would be coming together and worshipping Him until eternity as they set forth to the promised land.

We have been practicing being quiet before the Lord and discerning His voice or direction. One woman shared what God had shared with her in that time. She said she saw people using their gifts and being bold and they weren't in Heaven, but on Earth. Another woman shared that she saw a picture of something stretching out like a hand in a balloon. She said it looked like a baby in womb pushing on the walls of the placenta. I was having trouble clearing my mind, but each of those visions made perfect sense to me.

When I looked at the big picture I could see all of us pushing into new things with God. From our new home group to our time in ministry to recognizing new giftings in each of us. Then, looking at Moses and the tribes of Israel, it was clear that they were also moving into new rituals and a new relationship with the Lord. Aaron was going to be given the first Ephod and his sons would be named priests. Moses was the judge and false Gods were crumbling. God was inviting them to move with faith in Him.

It was exciting to see the group move to new territory and step in faith.

Praise Your name, Lord.

Anatomy: Part 5 of The Drummer's Almanac

I'm very excited to announce Neil Peart is releasing a new DVD titled "Anatomy of Drum Solo". It's at the top of my Christmas wish list.

What makes a good solo? Who knows, who cares.

Solo's are not my thing. Never have been. Probably never will be. It is the boon of my drumming existence when someone calls for me to give a drum solo. Neil Peart, I am not.

Foreshadowing, language, inflections in your voice, crescendo, climax, denoument, variations on a theme. That is the anatomy to which I structure my songs, grooves, and fills. I run down the toms to make a statement and run up the toms to ask a question. It makes a more interesting part when you use literary terms to define your approach to music. It breaks the mundane and fulfills my passion to create because I know I put more into it than just four beats per measure.

Against the run of the mill, Swimming against the stream - Neil Peart

For another good solo check out Chad Rager (my jazz teacher) and his big band.

The Lord Doesn't Forget!

The Lord is doing some amazing things. After making my proclamation, a few things happened that blew my mind. Thursday night group went very well and we had a new couple come. The husband was seeking the lord's voice and needed prayer. He and his wife left before we were able to pray with them. So we kept them in our prayers throughout the week.

Fast forward to Sunday:

Our pastor preached about being a servant and what choices we have to make when we truly serve Him. During ministry time I knew I had to go up front and pray with someone. I left my drumset and prayed with two people that I didn't know. We then hugged afterward and it was great. I knew I was going up front before the sermon was over. The Lord was calling me to serve. I also didn't go up to someone that I knew because it was too easy. I needed to walk in faith and break my mold.

During the service a woman walked in that I recognized. She was the mother of a boy who came to youth group at my previous church. She was late, which is why I noticed her. After the service I walked up to my friend Kelly who led our youth group. I asked her if that was the same woman whose son came. Kelly stated that she had been working out with this woman everyday. She then realized who she was and we talked with her. It was the same woman and her son is now living in Utah. Kelly asked me if I remember her son praying for her in youth group. She said, "The Lord doesn't forget!" I got chills and then Kelly started crying. It was awesome!!!!!!!! I saw her last week at the mall and she was on my mind the rest of the week until Sunday. (I will share more of this story later)

The end of the second service saw the couple that came to small group go up front to receive prayer. He knew the Lord was calling him and he knelt down on his knees. His prayers were answered.

It was a very satisfying service and one that had impact. It's amazing to see the Lord work and move people closer to Him.

Proclamation

Carry each other's burdens. A heavy cross to bear. It's something I must proclaim.
So I will... I am an intercessor. I have heard this a few times, but I didn't take it seriously.

I lay down my pride and false humbleness and proclaim this truth today, Lord.
The burdens I carry, I lift to You
Even when my mind tells me, "no"
I press into you now as a son of God
And I ask the Holy Spirit to minister in Jesus' name
I proclaim today that I am an intercessor
You give me life
Amen

Laying It down

Have you ever just felt restless and you don't know why? This feeling is very common for me. It usually comes at a time when everyone is asleep and I'm "alone" with myself to create, draw, and overthink song ideas. If I don't act quickly, I tend to think I'm wasting time and I need to get these thoughts out on paper because I might get somewhere with them.

Crazy, I know.

Well, this week tested me again in this area and as the restless feeling overwhelmed me, with grief and worry about not making the most out of my time, I sat my butt on the couch and resisted the anxiety. What it ultimately let me do was be OK with not doing anything.

I let go.

"Simplify my life by letting go" is a lyric by Charlie Hall. It is the truth. I layed down my art and my swirling thoughts of nothingness to let my life simplify. A spirit of being driven and never letting myself stop was layed to rest.

I also let my art go by realizing it is a hobby and not my life. My identity is not in what I create, but who I am created to be.

I've made myself create when I should relax, but I haven't just sat down and let things go in a long time. I was so nervous I kept complaining to my wife that I was uncomfortable and I felt like I needed to do something. It was a horrible feeling, but now that I'm on the other side, it's freeing.

Learning to yield.

This week has been about growth and learning new things. It is also about God's hand on me. I spoke this truth to Swanger and he confirmed what I was thinking. God will complete his work in me and I shall overcome.

Ebenezer (Stone of Help)

In a passing moment you call my name
In a passing moment you ask me to show you
all of my ways
In a passing moment I lift you up
In a passing moment the still night is stirred
you are made whole again

This was written about my encounter with God when I prayed my salvation prayer. I recall this moment as being very emotional and uplifting. Uplifting because that is exactly what it felt like. I had just finished my prayer, repeating Psalm 51, and explained to God that I need a way to know He was listening. It was late at night, so I went outside in my back yard. The air was still and silent. All of the sudden a breeze came and wrapped around me and I felt as though I was twenty feet from the ground. There was a dizzying sensation and all I could do was cry. I knew God was listening.

I remember this moment when I stray or find myself feeling distant from Him. In a passing moment, He came to me and embraced me. I had struggled with my own mind like a tug-of-war before I just finally prayed for him to win the war. I couldn't win it by myself, so He had to take control. Which is more profound than I would like to admit to, but He took over and placed me in His presence.

It's the place I long to be in everyday. A place I strive to be in everyday, but fall short.

This is something I hold on to, so I can be rooted and grounded in Love. My ebenezer.

Remind Me, Again!

"I want to yield and burn with truths I know". I may have messed this lyric up, but the more I thnk about it, the more it becomes necessary. I have not been in the place in my walk that I want to be(Who knew?!?) I have not been reading, but I've been hungry. I guess not hungry enough to take the time. I had a great time of growth and learning last year that brought new understanding about God's love for me.

The truth is I have forgotten or let it go. (We also have a Sea of Forgetfulness) I find myself wanting to go back read the some of the basic truths Christ layed out for us. I need to grasp what I already "know" to be true.

The fact is I thought I already knew, but didn't have the slightest idea of what it meant to me. Christ loves me? Yes, but he loves everybody! Doesn't He? This was a tough one, but I think I finally got it. Now that I get it, can I let myself off thah hook? Can I stop beating myself up over things I wish I would have done differently? Well, I should, but I haven't got that one, yet. I do know that he is not beating me up and there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus.

I love when my friends come over or when we talk because some of the basic truths come out in conversation and they remind me of how God works. I don't know if a year will suffice, but truths are where I need to start.

Re-Creation

This is my favorite illustration of an original character named Japhath. He was born out of a sketch while I was trying to show a coworker how to draw. It happened very quickly and I have come to love his character a lot, though he is one of the hardest characters to recreate. His eyes are empty and his face is stoic. He has a Batman feel without the mask and a Star Wars jumpsuit (Luke's Bespin outfit). Good content for a sci-fi epic. Why is he so cautious? What is he facing in front of him? Something brooding I hope.

Playing Ketchup

Stayed up until 2:30AM watching Lost to get caught up for tonight's premiere. Didn't happen. I fell asleep and missed one of the best episodes. Peeled myself off the couch and made my way to bed. Horrible knots in my neck and now a headache. Don't want to see the doctor because of money and my wife shakes her head. Can't believe J.D. won Rockstar INXS last night. Simplicity of worship music was welcome and freeing this morning. Sang all the way to work and worshiped a little too. I also feel much better after birthing the previous entry. It was aching and painful, but I had to write it. It may become an ongoing story. I work late tonight. I hope I last.

Retrospective

A glaring light beams from his goggles as he looks across the moonlit city scape. His eyes narrow, squint, then focus. He knows his destination. A small light pole, poking out from the building's side like a thorn. It's a risk, but he's taken them before. He perches himself on the ledge, glances back and quietly falls.......

There was a time when looking back was not so easy.......

"What are you lookin' at?!?", yelled the drunken slob as he slapped her. "Mom!", cried the boy. "Get out outta here before I do the same to you.", glared the man as the alcoholic sweat dripped off his chin. "Let her go!", the boy demanded. "You'll do what I say!", grinned the drunkard. The boy lunged forward and (SLAP) caught an open hand to the cheek.......

.....The sound of leather gripping harshly and the strain of metal bolts breaking......

He didn't feel the pain, so he got back up and tried again. (SLAP)

One chance to land before the pole falls. He swings and lets go of the pole.......

(SLAP) The boy crashes into the kitchen table. Plates and silverware shatter and scatter everywhere.

He lands violently on the rail of the fire escape. Too close to look, he takes in a deep breath and continues.......

(SLAP) He sees a knife, but instead chooses to fight his opponent fist to fist. He leaves the knife laying on the floor. The drunkard's eyes roll as he tries to stay conscious. (Crack!) The sound of bones cracking. Blood comes slowly. The man falls. His mother rushes to her boyfriends side, cursing her son. The boy leaves and never looks back.

The ladder clanks as it descends with 200 pounds on it's lowest rung. His feet hit the ground. He slips into the steamy, flourescent night. Sirens.... flashing lights.... circling choppers.......

Ramath Lehi (Jawbone Hill)

Above is an illustration of an inspiring battle that took place when Samson was handed over to the Philistines by his own people. I drew this because it reminds me that the Lord gives me strength and I don't have to fight my battles alone. I also submitted this to a comic book company. A year later, they made a comic book called "Samson, Judge of Isreal". He even wore an egyptian skirt. It was much better than what I could do, but this is my best work to date.

The Burning: Part 4 of The Drummer's Almanac

It's pretty often that the gears in my head start spinning about the latest inspiration and I find myself heading straight into a euphoric state of frustration. It is my anatomy as a person who likes to put pencil to paper, and sticks to skin. I tend to overthink what I want to accomplish and it ends up being far less then I hoped. I feel a burning inside of me that needs to escape through some type of creative expression. The burning usually comes unexpected and inconveniently. I have pushed through the frustration before and I have completed what I started, but most of the time it's not the case.

As I sit at the throne of my drum kit the inspiration comes natural and it flows out smoothly. I sometimes don't even think about what I'm going to play, but just play to see where I can go.

Explore the universe. A natural progression. Groove.

My other forms of expression do not come as easily. Painstakingly to say the least. If I can stoke the fire, I will, but it sometimes leads me to the end of inspiration.

Steady and Precise: Part 6 of the Drummer's Almanac

My worship team met last night for practice and our director gave us some new equipment that let us create our own personal mix and replaced the large floor monitors. I must say that it was much better than I expected and it improved our overall sound. There is something about a good sound that just inspires me to play more creatively and sometimes more simple so I can hear every nuance.

As we played, I started to think about how steady and precise I was playing and I almost tried to stop myself because I've heard many times, "It's not about how perfect you are, but just that your putting your heart into it." "Don't try to be the best musician." Those thoughts have given me a sense of freedom, but on the other hand, I want to be the best I can be when I worship God. He gave me the gifts of music and rhythm and I want to push myself to be better. He knows my heart. I want to give him my best because He gives me His.

I think as a team we have the responsibility to make worship easier for the congregation. It is a place of service and leadership. Have you ever been in the congregation and you can't wait until worship ends because it sounds bad or something is not right with the music? I have!! Now, some would say I just wasn't in the right place or had a bad attitude, but let's get real. When things sound weird to my ear I want to tune it out. If the team didn't need to sound good or play tight and make it the best we can, then why do we practice? Maybe it's to practice worshipping so we can better lead the congregation, but I can't force worship. Sometimes in practice I worship better than when I'm in service. Or vice versa. I am able to worship when I don't have to focus on my surroundings. Then I am able to go to that place where it feels like everything disappears and I am in His presence lifting up praise and petition.

Happenstance?!?

Hey, today is our fourth anniversary!!!! Well, it seems longer because we've been together for eight years. It's amazing how fast it's gone and how we have changed throughout this time.

I want to tell you about how our lives were connected before we even knew each other. My grandpa had passed away before we met and I wanted to go visit his grave sight, so we took a short trip to Unionville Center. As we walked up to the headstone, my wife saw the name on the headstone two plots away from my grandpa's. It had her last name and the first name was Bill. She then said, "My grandpa's name was Bill." I told her it couldn't be and she said her grandpa lived in Unionville Center with a woman named Judy. At that point she blew my mind because my grandpa had lived with a woman named Judy, which buried her first husband and my grandpa two plots away from each other. To make a long story short: Our grandfather's are buried two plots away from each other and both had a relationship with this woman named Judy. We then had to talk with my father-in-law to make sure and he confirmed that his father had moved from Kentucky to Ohio and married a woman in Unionville Center.

It was pretty awesome to think about how God had our lives thought out. It was obvious that we were destined to meet. We had the same friends and met through them just by happenstance. It raises a lot of questions and also makes me just want to stop thinking because I could get lost in the "what if's" and the "maybe's". What do you think?

Musical Weekend

What a great weekend. We had a few friends over to our house for some chili, movies, and, of course, music. My son went to his grandparents house while we enjoyed each other's company. Swanger brought his guitar and Donovan brought his bass and guitar. We played some really good songs from Travis to worship. My son came home around 8:30pm with his gutiar and he was in heaven. He strummed his guitar like Donovan and Swanger and jumped around like Angus Young from AC/DC. If he doesn't turn out to be a musician then I have no clue. On Saturday he told me to sit down at my drum kit while he played his guitar. He said, "C'mon daddy!" and pointed to my drum kit. He loves his guitar so much he wants to sleep with it.

Later, Swanger shared that he had written a couple of songs and was hesitant to share. I then asked if he wanted to play them, so he sat down and sang them to us. They were really good. He wanted some constructive criticism, so I tried to find things to pick apart for him. I couldn't find anything. Arrangement was the only thing I could talk about which will change when he adds other instruments. It inspired me to write a little bit on Sunday night. I have a melody and first verse and a chorus. It's the fifth song I've written. It is the first song that doesn't have anything to do with my faith. I wrote it for my wife and I to enjoy. It felt good to grow out of that mold.

Perseverance

Eight years ago, before I thought of Christ, things in my world were a lot different. How I viewed the world was literally scary. Anxiety had taken over my senses, so I would lie awake at night thinking about how the world was going to end and what would happen if.........?

I was teaching myself how to draw comics in a tiny little corner of an upstairs bedroom. I had a drawing table and spent long nights working on my technique and style. I started creating my own characters and spent as much time as I could drawing, which helped me escape from the world. I had my favorite comic heroes and I had a growing comic book collection. My favorite heroes were the classic Marvel and DC characters. Daredevil, Wolverine, and Batman stood out because they were dark and fear was not usually a problem for them. I identified with them because they were mysterious and powerful, and they fought for what they believed in. They were also broken men. The only thing they knew to do was to fight back and stand up in the midst of evil. They persevered through the toughest time in their lives. I work with men like this everyday. When you hear the reasons, the horrors, and the conflicts that brought them to their knees, it makes me realize that I am no different. I've been brought to my knees over less.

Sacrifice

After a very exhausting week at work, my wife and I decided to go to church. As the service started I was trying to get my oldest son to let go of my leg and play with the other two year olds. His cries were deep and horrific, like I was abandoning him and he was begging for me to let him come. So when he finally settled down and started playing I left him there. I swallowed hard and realized he may not trust me anymore. A few minutes later, I had my wife check on him and she found him screaming and kicking the door. So he came upstairs with us in the sanctuary. He was very quiet and made it through the service. I, on the other hand, was having a bad attitude. This is typical as I have not been to church in a while and what I saw bothered me. For no reason! I saw my friends and people who really give their time to comfort me. I saw others praying for each other and laughing and it made me feel sour. Why? Well, because I yearn for relationships, but I can't give the time. I want to minister and be a part, but I am needed with my family. I don't want it any other way except that I want to be able to do it all and not sacrifice anything.

My attitude rapidly changed to admiration as the pastor came up to me and stated that he appreciated me and wanted me to be encouraged to do whatever I need to do to serve my family right now. That means even taking a break from worship team. He affirmed my heart for teaching and stated he would love me to teach percussion , but he knows I am needed elsewhere. It was good to have someone not expect from me. It was a release to be able to make a sound decision and not feel pressured. The decision will be made, but not without a sacrifice. I left my son downstairs knowing he had his own choices to make. He could trust that I would be back for him and he was in a strange, but safe environment or he could think he was left behind and lost in a strange place and never trust me. It is something parents must do for their children. They must push them out a little further until they fly on their own. I think God is giving me the room to make a sound decision based on what is best for my family. I must trust Him that He is there for me and I am not left behind.

My wife told me that she was dreading the day when our sons won't want their mommy anymore. I told her that no matter how old they get, they will always want their mommy. Even if they don't know it.

I know I still do.....

Wasted Years?

Iron Maiden just made national news while touring with Ozzfest this week. It seems Bruce Dickason isn't getting along with Sharon Osbourn, so she had eggs thrown at them as they opened their set. I can't imagine doing something like that in front of thousands of people.
I remember my first rock concert. My mom took my friend Rich and me to see Iron Maiden and Megadeth at the Columbus Convention Center in 1988. It was a great show. The stage was elaborate and theatrical. It was a great experience. Rich, his brother Donovan, and I used to play Maiden songs and they were what we cut our teeth on in the early days. Songs like "The Trooper", "Run to the Hills", "Rime of the Ancient Mariner", and "Wasted Years" were a few of our favorites. Donovan and I still get a kick out of listening to them. They were fun, they were British, and they rock!! I love to see that they are still going strong after almost thirty years. Can't say that about many bands these days. I look back on those days and praise God that I listened to music that pushed my abilities and made me think. They were our heroes and we wanted to be just like 'em. Spandex and all!!!!!!!!!!

Have I Told You, Lately.....

There are times when I get so angry with myself for the way I react to situations. I didn't react in a way that I intended last night with my wife and my anger got the best of me. I am regretful and feeling miserable. I want my wife to know how I feel, but I don't always know how to tell her. I want her to know how I think of her and that I respect her deeply. All I know to say is, "I love you". Right now I feel raw and exposed and like my identity in Christ is being taken from me. I do not want my wife or anyone else to know me as a person that can't control his anger. I want her to know me as her lover and friend. So, I called her and told her, "I love you!" She returned the statement and we are moving past last night. I want to sing to her, "Have I told you, lately, that I love you, And there's no one else above you." I just heard that song and it almost made me cry thinking about her. Praise God for my wife!

Deep And Wide

Father, let us be rooted and grounded in love. Rooted and grounded. It is an awesome thing when you forgive your brothers and sisters in Christ love. I have moved past a lot of anger and hurt, lately, because I was able to talk out my issues with those I love. I usually hold in a lot of my emotion because I am overly sensitive and when something bothers me, I don't let myself say the things that are on my mind. In this case, I'm glad I waited to talk with them because I was spitting venom. The Lord knew the right time for me to talk with them and it was good. Now, things have already begun to change and my attitude has improved overall. I'm not spitting venom, but praising God for my brothers and sisters in Christ. Lord, thank you for my brothers and sisters and for your grace and love that covers me deep and wide. Amen

Destroying The Dark Side?!?!

I had a great drive into work this morning worshipping God. It truly was a blessing as I listened to Dwayne Roberts' "Apostolic Prayers 2". As usual, after worship I space out and start thinking of the really important questions I need to answer. Like, what if magic was destroyed in the fantasy realms? What would take it's place? Would there be gods or just heroes? Would the heroes mutate? Or would technology be the new source of power. If there's a Magic Age, then what age comes next? I wonder if Tolkien ever thought of that. Well, I have, but I don't have an answer yet. I recently read that Lucas is wanting to destroy the Dark Side of the Force in the next trilogy. I think if Lucas does that, he's the Phat Hutt everyone thinks he is trying to make another buck. Meanwhile, he will lose the essence of Star Wars. I didn't get my idea from him, but if I destroyed magic in a fantasy story, would I be losing the essence of fantasy?

Closer to the Heart

Music is very close to my heart. Lately, my connection in the church has been through playing on the Worship Team. Although, I love the new team and I am looking forward to seeing where we go, I have been hearing in the back of my mind that I may need to step down from the team. These thoughts aren't coming from a place of discontent, at least that I know of, but because I think this is a season that I need to just be a father. I love to go to practice, but I feel guilty leaving my wife with the kids when I've been at work all day. I am asking all of my friends to pray for me as I seek discernment. I will not move or step down until I have confirmation from the Lord.

Sticking With It

I had the chance to sit down at my drum kit this week only to discover how krusty I truly am. I went throught the usual warm-up stuff, which was very frustrating to say the least. I have been playing the same rhythms for far too long and they have become signature. It makes me feel like I haven't grown. I will also tell you that I haven't had a good long practice in months. One thing that made me extremely happy (and whole again!) was that I played a latin beat that my cousin, Jim, had constructed for one of his songs. It requires total concentration as all four limbs play a completely seperate rhythm. Accomplishment and pride settled in and I was able to leave my kit holding my glass jaw high.
By the way, have you heard all of the marching band drums in pop music, lately? I just heard the new Will Smith song and it sounds like he's at a pep rally. I wonder who else is gonna follow the trend. Destiny's Child, and Gwen Stefani did it. I do admit that I like it and I want to hear some more. I would love to create cadences for marching bands.

Manhattan Project

The big bang took and shook the world on August 6th, 1945. Sixty years ago the "Enola Gay" dropped two bombs on Japan. I know this is three days late, but I have some thoughts I want to log. I don't know if it was necessary to send "Fat Man" and "Little Boy" to shoot down the "Rising Sun" or not. I just think that we need to remember where we were as a country and how we came to that decision at that time. It was a race to build the bomb. We knew if Hitler had completed it first he would have used it either as a bargaining chip(threat) or a weapon. He may have completed his conquest in conquering the world. I believe in good vs. evil, and black and white. I don't think that decision was so clear, but I do believe that good prevailed and evil was conquered. It makes me wonder why people question the decision to fight the war on terror. It is an evil we must face. Last night, I was watching David Letterman and one of his monologue jokes was about Bush taking a five week vacation. A few minutues later he turned around and asked Paul Shaffer why Osama Bin Laden was still alive. "Why haven't we got him yet?, asked Dave. How profound?!? He doesn't like Bush and his "War on Terror", but he wants to know why the man responsible for America's worst terror attack in history isn't dead. "The hopeful depend on a world without end. Whatever the hopeless may say."

2! Ah, Ah, Ah........

Today marks my first son, Caden's, second birthday. We celebrated his birthday on Sunday with a party. He was very happy about his new toys. His favorite was a little acoustic guitar. He loved it so much he wanted to sleep with it. Elmo was the theme and he got his share of elmo paraphanalia from super balls to outfits. Caden was watching Sesame Street a couple of weeks ago and The Count came on the show. The number of the day was "2" and when he said, "2! Ah, ah, ah..." Caden mocked him. Now his favorite thing to say when we ask, "How old is Caden?" is, "2! ah, ah, ah..."

Lazarus Pool

Last night I was treated by my friend Dave Snook to one of the best comic book movie adaptations I've ever seen. Swanger was also with us. I loved every minute of it until I realized Ducard was Ra's Al Ghul. It was a let down only because I know that Ra's Al Ghul was a character bent on power and eternal life. Using what he called a "Lazarus Pool" to rejuvenate his old decaying body into the body of his youth. I wouldn't be surprised if he is resurrected in another movie using this concept. I think I found one of those "Lazarus Pools" today. As I walked into work, one of my residents asked me for a Career Passport. When I returned to him with the passport in hand he told me his father was passing away and he was being discharged early. I then told him about my mother passing away and how it changed my life. I then shared with him that Jesus was talking to me and I committed my life to him. He was very interested, but being pressed for time he had to return to the floor with the other residents. I always feel rejuvenated after sharing my story and Jesus with others. In a way, it's a resurrection of my faith. May we find "Lazarus Pools" to dip into each day. Praise Your name, Lord.

Brought to you by the letter "luhh"

This morning I'm teaching Orientees at my facility how to relate Therapautic Community to the real world. Most of them struggle with this because they don't get the therapeutic culture. A new lingo, new look, and challenging situations make their stay uncomfortable. I love it because they start to see a glimmer of hope and some end up with a new outlook on life. Every now and then I get to tie in Jesus. I love to teach and I love to spark thoughts and hope in broken men. Imagine this: 90 felons doing the Electric Slide to the tune of "Happy People" by R. Kelly. Amazing!!!!

Mystic Rhythms

On my way to work this morning I decided to put in one of my favorite CD's. Of course, it was Rush's "Power Windows". Now, some of my friends are saying, "What else would he put in?", but, actually, I haven't listened to a Rush CD in at least a month. I forgot how much I enjoyed this CD and I started thinking about why. Being a drummer I am drawn to Neil Peart's awe-inspiring approach. I also think Alex Lifeson is one of the best guitarists to ever live and is oftentimes overlooked in the top guitarist lists. One thing I am usually criticized for is actually loving Geddy Lee's vocals, even though he has been referred to by many as Mickey Mouse. The funny thing is my wife has also fallen in love with his vocal stylings. She is a true convert. Back to this morning: I was lost in air drummer land as I drove down the winding road to work. For those of you who have ever driven in front or in back of me know that it means my arms were flailing about, using everything on the dashboard to simulate a drumset and I knew every lick, fill, and note. Not only does this ritual serve as practice, it gives me the chance to play in front of the world. I was reminded of the rhythms that inspired me to drum in the first place and to study the art form for the last 15 years. I turn my nose up to those who think drums are an easy instrument and that they aren't expressive. Drums are intelligent, emotional, and inspiring. Even though I may not have been looking like it this morning.

Strong is the Sojourn Soul

I wrote a song not too long ago, titled "Sojourn Soul", based on the changes that occurred in the aftermath of a few nuclear bombs that were dropped on my life. Sound depressing? I was... at least for a while. Instead of throwing ashes on my head and tearing my clothes, I found myself sitting in the dark wondering what the heck I was going to do with my life. I had no direction and no clue what was about to happen to me. I was on a different plateau, spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically. I bet you're wondering what those bombs were that seemingly dropped out of the sky and took my life from me. Well, the first was the realization that I didn't love the girl I was living with after I had already proposed marriage. It was a time of anxiety and fear and I knew I had to let her know my heart. In the midst of this knowledge I was carrying around, I found out that my mother had colon cancer. She had found out during a routine visit to her Ob/Gyn. I was so shocked that I couldn't feel the weight of it's burden. The wedding was being planned and we were only two weeks away when I broke the news to my fiance. She was crushed!!! It was the most sickening feeling and all I could do was curl up in a ball and try to sleep from the pain. Needless to say we cancelled the wedding. My mom passed away a few weeks later. I think losing the house hurt worse than calling off the wedding. It was a place where I was safe and I could be creative. I taught myself how to draw comics and I had my own music room. So, what was a sojourn soul to do, but move back in with his dad. It was a major ego blow. I was 23 years old and I had to move back home. It was also hard to adjust with my dad because he was also hurting. This is when I noticed I was sitting in the dark... lost! This is when things changed. If I wanted to drag this story out I could tell you all of the details, but then I would have nothing to blog, so here's the short form. I met my future wife and reacquainted myself with some old friends who introduced me to the Lord. At first I was guarded and unsure, but once He revealed Himself to me I was lost once again. Only this time I was found in his arms. A sojourner is a person that moves around from place to place. I am a sojourner moving from one place to the next in my ultimate pursuit of trying to live a spirit-filled life in Christ. I am moving on......

Strong is the sojourn soul
Strong is the sojourn soul
And the thing that keeps him grounded
is the past that drove him away
He's still moving on