Ebenezer (Stone of Help)

In a passing moment you call my name
In a passing moment you ask me to show you
all of my ways
In a passing moment I lift you up
In a passing moment the still night is stirred
you are made whole again

This was written about my encounter with God when I prayed my salvation prayer. I recall this moment as being very emotional and uplifting. Uplifting because that is exactly what it felt like. I had just finished my prayer, repeating Psalm 51, and explained to God that I need a way to know He was listening. It was late at night, so I went outside in my back yard. The air was still and silent. All of the sudden a breeze came and wrapped around me and I felt as though I was twenty feet from the ground. There was a dizzying sensation and all I could do was cry. I knew God was listening.

I remember this moment when I stray or find myself feeling distant from Him. In a passing moment, He came to me and embraced me. I had struggled with my own mind like a tug-of-war before I just finally prayed for him to win the war. I couldn't win it by myself, so He had to take control. Which is more profound than I would like to admit to, but He took over and placed me in His presence.

It's the place I long to be in everyday. A place I strive to be in everyday, but fall short.

This is something I hold on to, so I can be rooted and grounded in Love. My ebenezer.

Remind Me, Again!

"I want to yield and burn with truths I know". I may have messed this lyric up, but the more I thnk about it, the more it becomes necessary. I have not been in the place in my walk that I want to be(Who knew?!?) I have not been reading, but I've been hungry. I guess not hungry enough to take the time. I had a great time of growth and learning last year that brought new understanding about God's love for me.

The truth is I have forgotten or let it go. (We also have a Sea of Forgetfulness) I find myself wanting to go back read the some of the basic truths Christ layed out for us. I need to grasp what I already "know" to be true.

The fact is I thought I already knew, but didn't have the slightest idea of what it meant to me. Christ loves me? Yes, but he loves everybody! Doesn't He? This was a tough one, but I think I finally got it. Now that I get it, can I let myself off thah hook? Can I stop beating myself up over things I wish I would have done differently? Well, I should, but I haven't got that one, yet. I do know that he is not beating me up and there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus.

I love when my friends come over or when we talk because some of the basic truths come out in conversation and they remind me of how God works. I don't know if a year will suffice, but truths are where I need to start.

Re-Creation

This is my favorite illustration of an original character named Japhath. He was born out of a sketch while I was trying to show a coworker how to draw. It happened very quickly and I have come to love his character a lot, though he is one of the hardest characters to recreate. His eyes are empty and his face is stoic. He has a Batman feel without the mask and a Star Wars jumpsuit (Luke's Bespin outfit). Good content for a sci-fi epic. Why is he so cautious? What is he facing in front of him? Something brooding I hope.

Playing Ketchup

Stayed up until 2:30AM watching Lost to get caught up for tonight's premiere. Didn't happen. I fell asleep and missed one of the best episodes. Peeled myself off the couch and made my way to bed. Horrible knots in my neck and now a headache. Don't want to see the doctor because of money and my wife shakes her head. Can't believe J.D. won Rockstar INXS last night. Simplicity of worship music was welcome and freeing this morning. Sang all the way to work and worshiped a little too. I also feel much better after birthing the previous entry. It was aching and painful, but I had to write it. It may become an ongoing story. I work late tonight. I hope I last.

Retrospective

A glaring light beams from his goggles as he looks across the moonlit city scape. His eyes narrow, squint, then focus. He knows his destination. A small light pole, poking out from the building's side like a thorn. It's a risk, but he's taken them before. He perches himself on the ledge, glances back and quietly falls.......

There was a time when looking back was not so easy.......

"What are you lookin' at?!?", yelled the drunken slob as he slapped her. "Mom!", cried the boy. "Get out outta here before I do the same to you.", glared the man as the alcoholic sweat dripped off his chin. "Let her go!", the boy demanded. "You'll do what I say!", grinned the drunkard. The boy lunged forward and (SLAP) caught an open hand to the cheek.......

.....The sound of leather gripping harshly and the strain of metal bolts breaking......

He didn't feel the pain, so he got back up and tried again. (SLAP)

One chance to land before the pole falls. He swings and lets go of the pole.......

(SLAP) The boy crashes into the kitchen table. Plates and silverware shatter and scatter everywhere.

He lands violently on the rail of the fire escape. Too close to look, he takes in a deep breath and continues.......

(SLAP) He sees a knife, but instead chooses to fight his opponent fist to fist. He leaves the knife laying on the floor. The drunkard's eyes roll as he tries to stay conscious. (Crack!) The sound of bones cracking. Blood comes slowly. The man falls. His mother rushes to her boyfriends side, cursing her son. The boy leaves and never looks back.

The ladder clanks as it descends with 200 pounds on it's lowest rung. His feet hit the ground. He slips into the steamy, flourescent night. Sirens.... flashing lights.... circling choppers.......

Ramath Lehi (Jawbone Hill)

Above is an illustration of an inspiring battle that took place when Samson was handed over to the Philistines by his own people. I drew this because it reminds me that the Lord gives me strength and I don't have to fight my battles alone. I also submitted this to a comic book company. A year later, they made a comic book called "Samson, Judge of Isreal". He even wore an egyptian skirt. It was much better than what I could do, but this is my best work to date.

The Burning: Part 4 of The Drummer's Almanac

It's pretty often that the gears in my head start spinning about the latest inspiration and I find myself heading straight into a euphoric state of frustration. It is my anatomy as a person who likes to put pencil to paper, and sticks to skin. I tend to overthink what I want to accomplish and it ends up being far less then I hoped. I feel a burning inside of me that needs to escape through some type of creative expression. The burning usually comes unexpected and inconveniently. I have pushed through the frustration before and I have completed what I started, but most of the time it's not the case.

As I sit at the throne of my drum kit the inspiration comes natural and it flows out smoothly. I sometimes don't even think about what I'm going to play, but just play to see where I can go.

Explore the universe. A natural progression. Groove.

My other forms of expression do not come as easily. Painstakingly to say the least. If I can stoke the fire, I will, but it sometimes leads me to the end of inspiration.

Steady and Precise: Part 6 of the Drummer's Almanac

My worship team met last night for practice and our director gave us some new equipment that let us create our own personal mix and replaced the large floor monitors. I must say that it was much better than I expected and it improved our overall sound. There is something about a good sound that just inspires me to play more creatively and sometimes more simple so I can hear every nuance.

As we played, I started to think about how steady and precise I was playing and I almost tried to stop myself because I've heard many times, "It's not about how perfect you are, but just that your putting your heart into it." "Don't try to be the best musician." Those thoughts have given me a sense of freedom, but on the other hand, I want to be the best I can be when I worship God. He gave me the gifts of music and rhythm and I want to push myself to be better. He knows my heart. I want to give him my best because He gives me His.

I think as a team we have the responsibility to make worship easier for the congregation. It is a place of service and leadership. Have you ever been in the congregation and you can't wait until worship ends because it sounds bad or something is not right with the music? I have!! Now, some would say I just wasn't in the right place or had a bad attitude, but let's get real. When things sound weird to my ear I want to tune it out. If the team didn't need to sound good or play tight and make it the best we can, then why do we practice? Maybe it's to practice worshipping so we can better lead the congregation, but I can't force worship. Sometimes in practice I worship better than when I'm in service. Or vice versa. I am able to worship when I don't have to focus on my surroundings. Then I am able to go to that place where it feels like everything disappears and I am in His presence lifting up praise and petition.

Happenstance?!?

Hey, today is our fourth anniversary!!!! Well, it seems longer because we've been together for eight years. It's amazing how fast it's gone and how we have changed throughout this time.

I want to tell you about how our lives were connected before we even knew each other. My grandpa had passed away before we met and I wanted to go visit his grave sight, so we took a short trip to Unionville Center. As we walked up to the headstone, my wife saw the name on the headstone two plots away from my grandpa's. It had her last name and the first name was Bill. She then said, "My grandpa's name was Bill." I told her it couldn't be and she said her grandpa lived in Unionville Center with a woman named Judy. At that point she blew my mind because my grandpa had lived with a woman named Judy, which buried her first husband and my grandpa two plots away from each other. To make a long story short: Our grandfather's are buried two plots away from each other and both had a relationship with this woman named Judy. We then had to talk with my father-in-law to make sure and he confirmed that his father had moved from Kentucky to Ohio and married a woman in Unionville Center.

It was pretty awesome to think about how God had our lives thought out. It was obvious that we were destined to meet. We had the same friends and met through them just by happenstance. It raises a lot of questions and also makes me just want to stop thinking because I could get lost in the "what if's" and the "maybe's". What do you think?

Musical Weekend

What a great weekend. We had a few friends over to our house for some chili, movies, and, of course, music. My son went to his grandparents house while we enjoyed each other's company. Swanger brought his guitar and Donovan brought his bass and guitar. We played some really good songs from Travis to worship. My son came home around 8:30pm with his gutiar and he was in heaven. He strummed his guitar like Donovan and Swanger and jumped around like Angus Young from AC/DC. If he doesn't turn out to be a musician then I have no clue. On Saturday he told me to sit down at my drum kit while he played his guitar. He said, "C'mon daddy!" and pointed to my drum kit. He loves his guitar so much he wants to sleep with it.

Later, Swanger shared that he had written a couple of songs and was hesitant to share. I then asked if he wanted to play them, so he sat down and sang them to us. They were really good. He wanted some constructive criticism, so I tried to find things to pick apart for him. I couldn't find anything. Arrangement was the only thing I could talk about which will change when he adds other instruments. It inspired me to write a little bit on Sunday night. I have a melody and first verse and a chorus. It's the fifth song I've written. It is the first song that doesn't have anything to do with my faith. I wrote it for my wife and I to enjoy. It felt good to grow out of that mold.

Perseverance

Eight years ago, before I thought of Christ, things in my world were a lot different. How I viewed the world was literally scary. Anxiety had taken over my senses, so I would lie awake at night thinking about how the world was going to end and what would happen if.........?

I was teaching myself how to draw comics in a tiny little corner of an upstairs bedroom. I had a drawing table and spent long nights working on my technique and style. I started creating my own characters and spent as much time as I could drawing, which helped me escape from the world. I had my favorite comic heroes and I had a growing comic book collection. My favorite heroes were the classic Marvel and DC characters. Daredevil, Wolverine, and Batman stood out because they were dark and fear was not usually a problem for them. I identified with them because they were mysterious and powerful, and they fought for what they believed in. They were also broken men. The only thing they knew to do was to fight back and stand up in the midst of evil. They persevered through the toughest time in their lives. I work with men like this everyday. When you hear the reasons, the horrors, and the conflicts that brought them to their knees, it makes me realize that I am no different. I've been brought to my knees over less.