Sacrifice

After a very exhausting week at work, my wife and I decided to go to church. As the service started I was trying to get my oldest son to let go of my leg and play with the other two year olds. His cries were deep and horrific, like I was abandoning him and he was begging for me to let him come. So when he finally settled down and started playing I left him there. I swallowed hard and realized he may not trust me anymore. A few minutes later, I had my wife check on him and she found him screaming and kicking the door. So he came upstairs with us in the sanctuary. He was very quiet and made it through the service. I, on the other hand, was having a bad attitude. This is typical as I have not been to church in a while and what I saw bothered me. For no reason! I saw my friends and people who really give their time to comfort me. I saw others praying for each other and laughing and it made me feel sour. Why? Well, because I yearn for relationships, but I can't give the time. I want to minister and be a part, but I am needed with my family. I don't want it any other way except that I want to be able to do it all and not sacrifice anything.

My attitude rapidly changed to admiration as the pastor came up to me and stated that he appreciated me and wanted me to be encouraged to do whatever I need to do to serve my family right now. That means even taking a break from worship team. He affirmed my heart for teaching and stated he would love me to teach percussion , but he knows I am needed elsewhere. It was good to have someone not expect from me. It was a release to be able to make a sound decision and not feel pressured. The decision will be made, but not without a sacrifice. I left my son downstairs knowing he had his own choices to make. He could trust that I would be back for him and he was in a strange, but safe environment or he could think he was left behind and lost in a strange place and never trust me. It is something parents must do for their children. They must push them out a little further until they fly on their own. I think God is giving me the room to make a sound decision based on what is best for my family. I must trust Him that He is there for me and I am not left behind.

My wife told me that she was dreading the day when our sons won't want their mommy anymore. I told her that no matter how old they get, they will always want their mommy. Even if they don't know it.

I know I still do.....

Wasted Years?

Iron Maiden just made national news while touring with Ozzfest this week. It seems Bruce Dickason isn't getting along with Sharon Osbourn, so she had eggs thrown at them as they opened their set. I can't imagine doing something like that in front of thousands of people.
I remember my first rock concert. My mom took my friend Rich and me to see Iron Maiden and Megadeth at the Columbus Convention Center in 1988. It was a great show. The stage was elaborate and theatrical. It was a great experience. Rich, his brother Donovan, and I used to play Maiden songs and they were what we cut our teeth on in the early days. Songs like "The Trooper", "Run to the Hills", "Rime of the Ancient Mariner", and "Wasted Years" were a few of our favorites. Donovan and I still get a kick out of listening to them. They were fun, they were British, and they rock!! I love to see that they are still going strong after almost thirty years. Can't say that about many bands these days. I look back on those days and praise God that I listened to music that pushed my abilities and made me think. They were our heroes and we wanted to be just like 'em. Spandex and all!!!!!!!!!!