Laying It down

Have you ever just felt restless and you don't know why? This feeling is very common for me. It usually comes at a time when everyone is asleep and I'm "alone" with myself to create, draw, and overthink song ideas. If I don't act quickly, I tend to think I'm wasting time and I need to get these thoughts out on paper because I might get somewhere with them.

Crazy, I know.

Well, this week tested me again in this area and as the restless feeling overwhelmed me, with grief and worry about not making the most out of my time, I sat my butt on the couch and resisted the anxiety. What it ultimately let me do was be OK with not doing anything.

I let go.

"Simplify my life by letting go" is a lyric by Charlie Hall. It is the truth. I layed down my art and my swirling thoughts of nothingness to let my life simplify. A spirit of being driven and never letting myself stop was layed to rest.

I also let my art go by realizing it is a hobby and not my life. My identity is not in what I create, but who I am created to be.

I've made myself create when I should relax, but I haven't just sat down and let things go in a long time. I was so nervous I kept complaining to my wife that I was uncomfortable and I felt like I needed to do something. It was a horrible feeling, but now that I'm on the other side, it's freeing.

Learning to yield.

This week has been about growth and learning new things. It is also about God's hand on me. I spoke this truth to Swanger and he confirmed what I was thinking. God will complete his work in me and I shall overcome.