Triggers to Triumph

I was blessed to have an interesting conversation with a resident today about self fulfilling prophecy. We had much more in common than I expected, which reminded me that I am not very different from them.

Being drummers and christians, we were talking about our musical experiences which lead to me talking about contacting studios to be a musician for hire and how that empowered me to keep pushing myself. This lead to how we have given in to self-defeating behaviors. Like telling myself, "Oh, it won't work out anyway. I might as well give it up." "Nothing good will ever come of it!"

He really identified and stated he knows he has triggers that play into everyday situations. He said he never joined bands that he wishes he would have because of these triggers or feelings.

I like to call them lies!

As he was telling me about his triggers his face turned several shades of red and his voice became softer. He called it out and said even just talking about it makes him nervous and start to have panic attacks. Another way I identified with him.

We have feared the fear.

We then addressed how we have started to overcome these irrational thoughts(lies!!!) by putting ourselves in uncomfortable situations like e-mailing studios, getting in front of 90 people and speaking, playing drums in situations we would have previously been intimidated, etc...

It was uplifting to hear the spirit of triumph. To call those lies out in the open and watch them disappear.

Musician for Hire

Well I did it!

I sent an e-mail to four recording studios in Columbus telling them I was interested in being a musician for hire.

Scott D, Scott Y, and I were talking about what we would like to do for our dream jobs. Jokingly, we said we would hold each other accountable to just start working on it. So, I did it. I thought, "why not? What's holding me back?"

myself

It was easy after I got started.

But, this is a big step for me. My lack of confidence has anchored me in the mud for a long time now...

The good thing is, I know I am good enough.

Deep down.

When I talk of confidence, I mean I don't have confidence that it will go anywhere. Because I may be turned down or I might...gulp.... fail.

beep be beep beep<Newsflash> be beep beep beep

I am afraid to fail!

What a lame excuse. Music is probably the one thing people are most confident I can do.

Not sure if I'm okay with that, but it's true.

I used my job seeking skills I teach in Job Readiness class to market myself.

No fluff, just bare bones truth!

I didn't say anything I couldn't back up.

So, hopefully, someone will take the bait and make contact with me. If not, I will have to call them directly.

At least I have a plan and my resume is already on a cd just waiting to be heard.

I'll wait to get nervous when they ask me to show them what I can do.