Confession

I recently confessed something to my wife that I had been holding onto for a year. What it is doesn't matter except that I held onto it for far too long.

Through the past year, I was wrestling with myself and with God telling me to confess. I knew in my heart if I confessed that He would take care of everything else. He would redeem me and I would be restored. But it's not easy to go forward when all you're doing is walking backward. It's like I could see Him, but I just kept moving away. He kept beckoning during every service on Sunday. And I mean every service. He didn't let up. I knew it would have to come down to confession.

Psalm 32:5 Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the LORD "— and you forgave the guilt of my sin. Selah

Finally, as I confessed, I felt relieved and horrible all at the same time. I was ready to cry because it was such a burden off my shoulders, yet it felt so good to remove it.

My wife has been gracious. Even though she has a hard time understanding she still shows she loves me and is willing to fight for me. I thank God for her. She has to put up with a lot from me.

Proverbs 28:13 He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy.

Now, things have become so much more open. I feel like God is inviting me to come closer. I've had the opportunity to worship him more freely. My worship team has experienced growth and unity even in the midst of adversity.

Isaiah 59:1 Surely the arm of the Lord is not too short to save, nor his ear to dull to hear.

.......It feels good not to carry a secret.......

We All Fall Down

Two nights ago, Casey and I were riding bikes with our boys around the school and in our back alleys when Caden, my oldest, said he wanted to take his training wheels off.

I asked him if he was sure. He said, "Yes. I'm ready!" So we went back home and took them off.

He started out really unstable and shifting his weight from side to side while I held onto the back of his seat. After a few times around the drive he started to speed up, which made it very hard to keep up with him. Finally, he started heading toward the soccer field behind our house. I told him to stop because he was running out of road, but he just kept going. Down into the ditch and right out into the field. He joyfully screamed, "Im doing it!!!" He peddled about the width of our back yard, looked back at Casey and me, and then tumbled to the ground.

It was a glorious moment as he conquered the road only to crash and burn at the very end. He started crying because the bolts that held his training wheels scraped his shins. I remember those kind of scrapes. They sting!! But they don't seem to hurt as bad as our pride. He didn't like to wreck, but he kept getting back on and fighting.

Later, he asked if he could have his training wheels back on the bike. I told him no. He started whining and begging, but I told him that we don't go backward, but we keep getting on the bike even when it hurts. That wasn't what he wanted to hear at that moment, but the next day, he was so excited to go ride his bike and tell his grandma and grandpa what he had accomplished.